Saturday, January 20, 2007

Albums That I Didn't Like (But Really Wanted To!)...

I know- it's been forever since I posted on here. I kind of moved. Across the country. Yeah. I'm short on intros and long on reviews. Here, just read:

Red Hot Chili Peppers- Stadium Arcadium (Warner)
Too much music sprawled over two CDs. Everyone and their grandma was like "Ooh, the Peppers are BACK!", but the only thing they brought back was their old sound. They should've called this "Blood Sugar Sex Magik part 2". Good thing I didn't buy this, I would've gotten overcharged for two buckets of crap when clearly they could've just sold me one.

Ali Farka Toure- Savane (World Circuit/Nonesuch)
The album AFT did with Ry Cooder is seriously one of my favorites. But this, I don't know- I like the blues, I like African music. I don't know why it missed with me. Everyone else on the planet seemed to love it, however. This shows that I am not an expert, not even a little...

Brand New- The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me (Interscope/Tiny Evil)
It was just too different. I don't consider these guys emo, or even a pop-punk band, hell, they don't really have a genre. They just rock. But this album, doomed from the start with my Worst Album Title Award, 2006, just was too muchof a departure from the Brand New I know and love. Here's where maturity is a bad thing.

Clipse- Hell Hath No Fury (Re-Up/Stay Trak/Jive)
Again, another album beloved by critics everywhere. I think two things killed this for me: 1) hip-hop is in fact, just about dead (I do agree with Nas here) and 2) Pharrell is so 2003. Timbaland is the shit, son, it's time for The Neptunes to say bye-bye and concentrate on running a sneaker company from now on.

Damien Rice- 9 (Heffa)
Just not very good after the title track (9 Crimes). Not much more to say, only could get through it twice. No more.

Gwen Stefani- The Sweet Escape (Interscope)
Again, here's an artist that is so capable of being the biggest star in the English-speaking world but settles for crap-tacular mediocrity. If you're looking for boring party songs, look no further. I'm going to keep listening to Love.Angel.Music.Baby. until I die, but this, this is pure shite...

Jay-Z- Kingdom Come (Roc-A-Fella/DefJam)
One listen after downloading it and I deleted it off of my computer. Worst album of his career. Possibly the worst album of all of '06. H to the izzo, V to the izzay, you shoulda stayed retired and kept yo'self bizzay.

Joanna Newsom- Ys (Drag City)
Another critics' fave, it was just too obtuse. 5 songs totalling almost an hour? One 17 minute epic, another 12 minute jaunt, and two 9 minuters and a seven-plus. Holy shit, this isn't pop music, it's a fucking opera. An Indie Rock Opera. But it doesn't suck.

Junior Boys- So This Is Goodbye (Domino)
After hearing Thom Yorke and Hot Chip this year, I didn't want to hear another electro-pop album. This also doesn't suck, but I was tired of this stuff. No offense. I am a bad reviewer when I'm lazy.

Paris Hilton- Paris (Heiress/Warner)
Seriously, I was so excited to get this and tear it apart. I listened to it four or five times right away, and after the laughter subsided, there actually was a stand-out track. Stars Are Blind- but I liked it for the music. Miss Hilton's voice was run through a processor so many times to get it to sound normal (in tune is more like it!) it literally sounded so fake by the time it was laid to the backing tracks, I couldn't help but think of poor Milli. But not Vanilli.

Taking Back Sunday- Louder Now (Warner)
I think emo is pretty much done. I had such high hopes for this band, they put on such a great live show. But these new songs are not "where you want to be", so don't "tell all your friends"...

AFI- Decemberunderground (Interscope)
See above. Pretty much one-dimensional music. I think my tastes have changed away from this screamy shite.

The Rapture- Pieces Of The People We Love (Universal/Motown)
I'll take !!! over any of the Indie-Dance bands any day of the week. I get this feeling from The Rapture's music (and their image) that they are way too self-serious. And dance music is all about fun, right? Not unless it's one of those dance-off type things that went down at the prom in that movie She's All That. Man, that Rachel Leigh Cook is bangin', yo! What's she been up to lately?

Next up: NEW ALBUM REVIEWS! Let's start off '07 with:

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